I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
