these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
