I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
