There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
