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Betty ford says i'm here all night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
