I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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