i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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