Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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