New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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