Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
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I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize