I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
