And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize