hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
