No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
