could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
