why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize