At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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