Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
