we made out on top of his cat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
God, I missed his penis.
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