hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My liver just had a heart attack.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
