Whod you bang
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
