whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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