I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize