Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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