just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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