FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
