I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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