I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
