So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
