I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
