You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize