bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
