UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
