i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
