ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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