Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
