hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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