i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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