why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize