Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
