i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Holy sore nipples Batman
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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