Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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