Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You're completely useless in the revolution.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
