yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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