I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
