youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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