I think I died a long time ago.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize