The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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