Are we in a gay sports bar?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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