she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
