her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
