Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
