What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
