Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
