okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
