where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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