Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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