You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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