Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize