Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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