how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize