Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
