we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
