Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
